Social Intelligence – Daniel Goleman
I have always been a great fan of Daniel Goleman’s work. His bestseller book, “Emotional Intelligence and working with Emotional Intelligence”, caught the business world by storm. In the book Daniel argued that the secret of success is not IQ, a business school degree, technical know or even years of expertise. Instead, in most cases, it’s Emotional Intelligence that plays the key role.
This weekend I got the chance to catch up with his follow-up work, “Social Intelligence – The new science of Human Relationships”. Daniel describes Social Intelligence as the interpersonal part of Emotional Intelligence. He argues that human beings are “wired to connect” with brains of other individuals. Our brain is “Social”, meaning that our interactions with others, verbal or visual, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins–and bad relationships like poisons. Daniel points out those emotions are “contagious” – we can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold. The “Social Brain” has something called “Mirror Neurons”, which sense both the move another person is about to make and their feelings, and instantaneously prepares us to imitate that movement and feel with them. This is extremely important when you consider implications on the business world, when negotiating with the opposite party, and especially in Leadership. Followers are naturally attuned to mirror the emotions of the leaders.
Hmmmm… does this make it all the more important for leaders to manage emotions? Sometimes I think of a true leader as a symphony conductor – aware and being one with the surroundings, attuned to each and every musician in his group, expert in communication both verbally, by movements of the hand, gestures, facial expressions… all in order to create a state of the art experience for the audience – the final product. Agree/Disagree?
The book points to experiments, like a British study of health care workers who had supervisors on alternate days, once they dreaded and one they liked. One the days the dreadful boss worked, their average blood pressure jumped 13 points for the systolic and 6 for diastolic. Wow. I guess now those law suites we hear of… where employees claim heath issues from workplace harassement, may hold some truth.
Too often, when leaders deliver a message, the content takes the first seat and the “HOW” is ignored. Daniel points out to a study where when a manager delivered a piece of bad news (disappointment that an employer had failed to reach performance goals) with a warm demeanor, people neverthless rated the interaction positively. When good news (pleasure that the goals had been met) was delivered with sullen expression, the interaction paradoxically left people feeling bad. This points to the fact that leader’s emotional tone has a surprising power over the organization.
Interestingly, Daniel points out that today’s technological advances which have given birth to the concept of “global communities” and “online virtual worlds” might have a sinister down-side. He discusses the concept of social corrosion resulting from “technocreep”:
“… There are unknowns in the ways humans around the words are connecting – and disconnecting –as technology offers more varieties of nominal communication in actual isolation. These trends signal the slow vanishing of opportunities for people to connect. This inexplorable technocreep is so insidious that no one has yet calculated its social and emotional costs.”
“The one-person shell created by headphones intensifies social insulation. Even when the wearer has a one-on-one face-to-face encounter, the sealed ears offer a ready excuse to treat the people as an object, something to navigate around rather than someone to acknowledge, or, at the very least, notice.”
Daniel argues, “to the extent that technology absorbs people in a virtual reality, it deadens them to those who are actually nearby. The resulting social autism adds to the ongoing list of unintended consequences of the continuing invasion of technology into our daily lives”
Daniel makes a powerful point… which I hate to admit, I have noticed myself. Looking back, I can see how I switched from the good old paperback edition of books to MP3 versions. The convenience and ease is just undeniably one of those things that attracted me to audio books in the first place. Plugin that iPod and take it wherever you go… the long drive, the gym, the walk from the parking lot to work… however, I realize that I DID get in a “bubble” when listening to those books… sometimes so much so that a 10 hour cross-state drive seemed like something I looked forward to!! Yeah – that’s sick for sure. And lemme not forget my huge twitter list who I believe NEED to know everything and anything I do. And my virtual social network, on those gazillion websites out there, where I HAVE to drop in to “show some luv”. Have you paused and wondered if a comment on “My Wall” is really something that “connects” me to my ”virtual” peep sitting in Russia? Do we really understand Social Networking?
“In 1970s two-thirds of Americans belonged to organizational with regular meetings that they attended. That number has dropped to about one-third by the 1990s… New organizations keep people at a distance. Membership comes via e-mails or mass-mailings, and the main activity boils down to sending money, not getting together.”
I agree with Daniel that this new “communication culture” is still too new. There are unknowns in the ways humans around the world are connecting – and man disconnecting – as technology offers more varieties. Are we losing that “personal touch”? Am still looking for that “right answer” – What do you think?
The book has a vast multitude of stories and references to research materials which makes it a very interesting read. Usually I take at least a week to finish off a book, mostly reading an hour or so in the night… but this one got me reading all through thanksgiving 
Check out the “introductory” video by Daniel Goleman below… and also 2 related posts – Daniel points out the connection between Social Intelligence and Leadership, and the inspiring Ted presentation on Compassion and Empathy.
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