Never Eat Alone - Cover

Keith managed to grab my attention from the very first page when he shares his personal life, stories from his childhood struggle. He talks about his less than humble childhood, economic hardship etc. He then introduces his dad as the guiding post, the beacon of direction and guidance for his life. It’s clear that the first few lessons in leadership, emotional intelligence, self-confidence for Keith came from his dad. Like a true leader, Keith builds his connection with the audience (readers) by exposing a bit of vulnerability.

The phrase “Network, Network, Network” has been used and abused over and over again in business schools and professional world alike. However, it’s amazing at how most of the literature continues to be more focused on the “one-sided” and “cold-calling” aspects. The idea of a “network” remains primarily as someone who can get us the next job, or help solidify that next big deal.

This book is the first of its kind that does a great job in bringing out the fact that “Networking” is different from “Connecting”. Keith argues that connecting is a 2 lane road as compared to networking which ends up being a one lane road. Connecting is a constant process of giving and receiving – of asking for and offering help. By putting people in contact with one another, by giving your time and expertise and sharing them freely, the pie gets bigger for everyone. The importance of connecting your circles has always been downplayed or NOT given enough attention in most of the literature so far – something Keith does a great job at.

Keith argues, “Relationships are NOT finite, like a pie that can only be cut into so many pieces. They are more like muscles – the more you work them, the stronger they become. Relationships are solidified by trust. Institutions are built on it. You gain trust by asking not what people can do for you, but what you can do for others. In other words – the currency of real networking is not greed, but generosity.”

Keith talks about his personal experience at Deloitte and argues, “A successful mentoring relationship needs equal parts utility and emotion. You can’t simply ask somebody to be personally invested in you. There has to be reciprocity involved – whether it’s hard work or loyalty that you give in return – that gets someone to invest in you in the first place. Then when the process kicks in, you have to mold your mentor into a coach; someone for whom success is in small or big way his success.”

One of the most interesting chapters in the book talks about the all too familiar concept – Work-Life Balance.  Keith states that “Work-Life Balance is BS”. Yup… that’s what he says. Keith argues that a relationship driven career isn’t a career at all… it’s a way of life. “The kind of false idea of balance as some sort of an equation,  that you could take this many hours from one side of your life and give it to this other side, flew out of the window. And with it went all the stress of trying to achieve that perfect state of equilibrium we read and hear about so much. Balance can’t be bought or sold. It doesn’t need to be “implemented”. Balance is a mind-set, as individual and unique as our genetic code. Where you find joy, you find balance.”

Contrary to the conventional business wisdom, Keith argues that there doesn’t need to be a rigid line between our private and public lives. “Old-School business views the expression of emotions and compassion as vulnerability; today’s new business people see such attributes as the glue that binds us. When our relationships are stringer, our business and careers are more successful.”

Bottom line – this book proves to be refreshingly different from a gazillion other networking books out there. The focus on “Connecting” vs “Networking”, plus some great real life stories from Keith’s tenure as the CMO of Deloitte and then CMO at Starwood make this a very interesting read. A must read!

Check out the book on Amazon and check out Keith’s website for some of his cool stuff.

UPDATE: Check out my new blog post with a 5 min video from Ketih Ferrazi

Click here to view the embedded video.

About Daniel Goleman:
Daniel Goleman is an internationally known psychologist who lectures frequently to professional groups, business audiences, and on college campuses. Working as a science journalist, Goleman reported on the brain and behavioral sciences for The New York Times for many years. His 1995 book, Emotional Intelligence (Bantam Books) was on The New York Times bestseller list for a year-and-a-half; with more than 5,000,000 copies in print worldwide in 30 languages, and has been a best seller in many countries.

More about Daniel Goleman

Click here to view the embedded video.

About Daniel Goleman:
Daniel Goleman brought the notion of “EI” to prominence as an alternative to more traditional measures of IQ with his 1995 mega-best-seller Emotional Intelligence.

Since the publication of that book, conferences and academic institutes have sprung up dedicated to the idea. EI is taught in public schools, and corporate leaders have adopted it as a new way of thinking about success and leadership. EI, and one’s “EIQ,” can be an explanation of why some “average” people are incredibly successful, while “geniuses” sometimes fail to live up to their promise.

Click here to view the embedded video.

About Jonathan Harris:
Brooklyn-based artist Jonathan Harris’ work celebrates the world’s diversity even as it illustrates the universal concerns of its occupants. His computer programs scour the Internet for unfiltered content, which his beautiful interfaces then organize to create coherence from the chaos.

His projects are both intensely personal (the “We Feel Fine” project, made with Sep Kanvar, which scans the world’s blogs to collect snapshots of the writers’ feelings) and entirely global (the new “Universe,” which turns current events into constellations of words). But their effect is the same — to show off a world that resonates with shared emotions, concerns, problems, triumphs and troubles.